10:35
by mcplestreet
Summary: "I think I'm falling in love with you." The silence that followed his admission was deafening. It would have been quieter if they both started screaming at the top of her lungs. "Now would be the time to say something." "I told you not to fall in love with me." mileven one shot AU
1. Chapter 1

this probably has a lot of typos since I didn't proofread but I've been itching to upload ever since I finished Rust and Stardust. I hope you enjoy this mil even one shot :)

this oneshot is based off of a post on instagram I saw made by castelbyers

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Mike and Jane walked hand in hand up the walkway to the Hopper residence. As he did every time he approached the house he felt nervousness start to bubble up from the pit of his stomach. Despite how well he and Jane's father got along he was still incredibly intimidating. He was the chief of police _and_ his girlfriend's father. Mike couldn't think of a more terrifying person. But with Jane's hand in his he felt a bit more at ease. She had an effect over him that no one else on earth had.

They both stopped when they reached the door and turned towards each other. Night had fallen over Hawkins over an hour ago. Jane looked down at her watch. Her curfew was 10:30 and it was only 10:26. They had four more minutes to themselves. And even though Hopper would be able to hear them from where he sat in the living room he would let them talk for those last four minutes. But if they went a minute too late the front door would swing open and he would force them to say goodnight.

With the only sources of light limited to street lamps and porch lights scattered across the streets hos eyes struggled to make out the details of her face. But after six months' worth of dates he had studies her face enough to know exactly how she looked even without the light. Her dark eyeshadow would be smudged and faded after a long day and her hair gel would have started to its strength. Though he wished there was enough light for him to see the curly flyways that broke free he was satisfied with just imagining them.

There were a million details to remember in their relationship and Mike tried his best to remember them all. The first was the day they met. She and her father had just moved down from Chicago so he could take the open position as police chief. Mike had been sitting in his eighth grade biology class, fully anticipating an excruciatingly normal day, when the classroom door swung open. In 1984 bright colors were more in style than ever. The only people who owned black were punk rockers and delinquents. At the sight of the new girl, dressed in a black T shirt, black converse, and dark eyeshadow, Mike was confident that she wasn't someone he would want to get to know. He had been miserably wrong.

He remembered their first date. It wasn't a date at first since Will and Max were seeing the movie with them. But when their friends snuck off to go to the bathroom in the first half hour and never came back he had a feeling he knew why they had been acting so weird. His and Jane's arms brushed against one another for the remaining hour and a half. When the movie finally ended neither of them made any move to get up. It didn't take long for the theatre to empty. They were alone. His heart started pounding in his chest and his hands felt sweaty. All of the other times they'd been alone and he hadn't done anything, leaving him wondering 'what if', ran through his head. Before he could talk himself out of it he kissed her. And she kissed him back.

"That restaurant is so good." Jane said as they stood on her front porch. "We should go back soon."

"Yeah." He agreed.

The same way they had when he kissed her for the first time his hands felt clammy and his heart was running a marathon. A thought had been nagging at him for a little over a week. A thought that got more and more difficult to ignore when he was around Jane. She smiled at him bright enough to light up the whole street in contrast to the dark clothes and make up she wore. Under her cold and black exterior she was one of the kindest people he knew. She was constantly putting others needs ahead of her own, even when Mike desperately tried to convince her that Troy's bullying didn't bother him. She loved and cared for others in a way she couldn't do for herself.

Her thin eyebrows came together in the middle of her forehead. "What's wrong?" she asked. How she was able to read him as easily as a book was something he'd still yet to figure out.

"It's nothing." He told her

Jane's expression hardened slightly. "Mike." She said. A one word warning to tell her the truth quickly before she weaseled it out of him.

He sighed, admitting defeat. "I think…" Mike began, but the words got caught in his throat. They fought desperately to stay inside where they were safe and shielded from rejection. But the look on her face tugged them closer and closer to the surface until they came tumbling out of his mouth. "I'm falling in love with you."

The silence that followed his admission was deafening. It would have been quieter if they both started screaming at the top of their lungs. Jane stared at him. And while her expression didn't change there was something different about her. Something he wished he knew the words for. Mike waited and waited for a response but she was silent. The longer she said nothing the more he just wanted to get her reaction over with. He was beginning to anticipate a negative reaction more than a positive one.

"Now would be the time to say something." He told her. His voice came out weak and shaky sounding and immediately made him want to clear his throat.

Even through the darkness he could see her swallowing hard. The porch light next door was bright enough to cast a reflection in her brown eyes. Jane as an expert on reading him. But when he roles were reversed he felt as if he was taking a stab in the dark. Literally.

Her gaze cast downward to look at their feet. His converse sneakers and her doc marten boots. They were opposites in every single way. She just barely got away without detentions because of her father's status while he was on the fast track to being the top in their class. He was the sun and she was the moon. She brought out a more rebellious side of him and he brought out a part of her Hopper once told him he hadn't seen since she hit puberty. They were either doomed to fail or meant to be. Mike had always thought the latter.

"I told you not to fall in love with me." She whispered. Her voice was barely audible and he almost missed it.

Mike remembered the night she was referring to. They'd been dating for a little more than three months and had gone to see the movie _Heathers_ with their friends. Afterwards they went out to lunch at a nearby diner and discussed their favorite and least favorite things about the movie. Jane had been silent for most of the conversation, chewing slowly on the fries and sipping on her soda. One of the few comments she made, as they talked about how quickly chaos took over the characters, was "that's what happens when you fall in love".

While he drove her home Mike debated the best way to go about bringing up what she had said. He knew her family history. After her father caught her mother cheating she left and he had a dangerous bought of alcoholism. It took nearly a year and a half for him to get sober, the last straw being when a nine year old Jane got into his whisky. It was one of the many reasons she was a pessimist. But he had thought that after a relationship as smooth sailing as the one she had with him that she might change her mind.

"What you said before, about falling in love, do you really think that?" Mike finally asked when he pulled onto her street.

Jane looked over at him. She hadn't had enough time to do her make up that morning and left the house barefaced. The days she was 100% natural were his favorite days. Though he liked the way she looked with dark eyeshadow, and that it made his old bullies afraid to go near him when she was around, he loved the uninterrupted view of her flawless face. She stared at him for a moment before she spoke. "Mike, I like what we have, and I like you, but you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"Promise you won't fall in love with me."

"Okay not anything."

Jane groaned and looked back out the window next to her. "Mike." She began. But she never continued whatever thought was stuck in her mind.

"I can't control something like that." He told her. "The way you feel about someone just happens. I can't do anything about it."

"Then promise me you'll try."

He did.

And he failed.

Now, standing on Jane's porch and feeling his heart slowly crack into little pieces, his hope that she would maybe give up on her negative views on love were proven wrong in an instant. He didn't expect her to love him, it felt too much to ask for her to even like him, but he had hoped that she would at least think differently. Jane looked back up at him and her face softened. Mike realized that he must have looked as hurt as he felt, which was embarrassing. "I'm sorry." She said, reaching for his hands. His mind told him to pull away but his body begged for her comforting touch. "I'm sorry, Mike."

 _I'm sorry_.

They were words she said often. One of the few flaws of Jane Hopper was her guilt and the way she blamed herself for everything. For her parents divorced, for the one time Mike got detention, the C he got on a test the day after they stayed out late. I'm sorry were words that came out of her mouth as easily as an exhaled breath.

"I told you I couldn't help it." He said. "You're the most amazing person I know, how could I not?"

Jane shook her head. " _Please_ stop." She begged him. She sounded on the verge of tears and his heart, or what remained of it, twisted into a knot.

But he couldn't stop. "What are you so scared of?" he asked her. It was a question that had been on his mind for some time. "Do you think that I'm going to hurt you?"

"No, it's not that- "

"Then what is it?"

Jane shut her eyes tightly and squeezed his hands. "I'm scared _I'm_ going to hurt _you_." She said. Her words felt as heavy as the worry that had likely been weighing her down since the possibility entered her mind. "You're too good for me, Mike."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is, and you know it." Her guilt was typically partnered with her low self esteem. A duo that had caused a few similar conversations in the past. Mike always seemed to be able to sooth her worries that she didn't deserve him. But he'd never seen the look she was wearing before. "I don't think I could forgive myself if I ever hurt you."

"Jane, stop." He said. Mike glanced down at his watch then into the window. 10:32. While there wasn't a doubt in his mind that her father was waiting behind the front door for the conversation to change so he could cut them off he wasn't bothered. He needed to talk some sense into her. "You know how happy you make me. Why can't you just let yourself be happy too?"

One of her hands slipped out of his grasp and quickly wiped away a tear before it could escape from her eye. "I _am_ happy." She told him. "You make me the happiest person in the world. And it's terrifying."

Mike's body hurt to see her so upset. He had heard it said, by someone somewhere, that no one cries over something they didn't care about. She cared about him. He knew it, and she didn't need to say it, but he was glad she did anyway. "You don't have to say anything. But I needed to tell you."

He saw her bottom lip start to tremble before she took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around her neck. Though she was silent her body shook with tears that struggled to stay internalized. "I'm sorry, Mike." She said once more. "I know I'm not easy to deal with."

"Stop it." He warned. He knew how she hated it when he droned on about how amazing she was. Mike had a strong feeling it was because she never believed him.

She pressed her forehead against his neck. "Just… give me some time?"

"As much time as you need."

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Her words came out the same way his had when he made his admission only a few minutes earlier. So sure, yet so unsure. Vulnerable and exposed but confident. It was her equivalent and he would take it in a heartbeat.

Jane pulled away and looked down at her watch before her eyes met his again. They were watery and irritated but beautiful none the less. He wiped the wetness off her cheeks with his thumbs. She smiled weakly at him. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked

"Of course." He told her. His hands lingered on her cheeks for another moment before falling back down to his sides. "Do you want me to pick you up in the morning?" She nodded a few times which was answer enough for him. "See you in nine hours."

"Nine hours." She repeated.

Jane kissed him, quickly and likely just as aware of her father's presence as he was, before taking a deep breath. She turned away from him and disappeared behind her front door. As he walked back to his car Mike could feel the pieces of his heart mending back together. For a moment he had thought he lost her. But she was still his Jane. Even if, god forbid, things between them ended she would still be his Jane.

He practically collapsed into the driver's seat. Before pulling away from her house he glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

10:35.


	2. Chapter 2

welcome to the sequel that I wasn't going to do. a lot has been happening in my life and I haven't been uploading here as often because of it. I was re reading some of my stories and trying to figure out which one I should continue with one more addition and I knew I had to do this one. enjoy!

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Just as she expected Jane's father was standing only a few feet away when she opened her front door and stepped inside. They watched each other silently, him sitting on the bottom of the stairs and her standing on the mud mat, while they listened to the sound of Mike's keys jingling in his pocket as he walked towards his car, neither of them making a move until the rattling engine started up. Her father let out a breath and let his posture deflate slightly. Jane hung her purse up on the coatrack.

"How much did you hear?" she asked with her back still turned to him.

"Enough." Jim answered simply. "You wanna talk?"

"I don't know."

When she faced him again he was running a hand over his face. "Come on." He said before standing and turning and heading down the hall towards the kitchen.

Her boots squeaked quietly on the floor as she followed, taking a seat on one of the stools at the island in the middle of the room and watching him take out the ice cream cake he had gotten as a joke to celebrate her three months without detention. He got two forks out of the drawer and set the items down on the island counter before sitting across from her. Icing letters spelling out _Three Months Clean!_ were cut off by the pieces of cake they'd already eaten. They both picked up their forks and dug in.

"Mike's a good kid." Jim said in between bites. "Good head on his shoulders."

"If you like him so much why don't you ask him out?"

She saw his face twitch into a short smile before his expression evened out again. "God forbid we have a serious conversation Miss Sarcasm." He said. Jane remained silent so he continued after a few bites. "He really cares about you."

She stabbed her fork into the cake again. "That's not the issue."

"Well than what is?"

"Me." She said shortly.

In her peripheral vision she saw him set his fork down with a soft _clink_ against the counter. "I know you love him."

"You read my diary again?"

Jim continued as if she hadn't interrupted. "Being honest about your feelings is scary, I get it. What's the worst that can happen?"

She looked up from the cake, her expression hardening slightly. "I think you know what the worst thing that can happen is."

He stiffened slightly. She regretted digging up a topic that was hard for both of them but she couldn't help but be defensive. "You're not me, kid." He told her. "And Mike is not your mother. You guys are better than we ever were. You guys make it look easy."

Jane brought her fork back to her lips. "It is easy." She said through a mouth full of ice cream.

"Well, believe me, it's not easy for most people." The conversation fell into a lapse while they ate, the only sound being the buzzing from the old lightbulb above their heads. They made a good dent in the remains of the cake before he spoke again. "Tell me why you're scared to tell him."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"You really think you're gonna hurt him?"

Jane sighed and set her fork down. Her heart was still pounding from Mike's confession. It wasn't anything she didn't already know. He told her he loved her every day in the little things he did. The way he looked at her, how his body was drawn to hers like a sunflower to the molten rock in the sky, how he softened every time she went near him. Mike was the stars that lit up her darkness, the heat that turned her iciness into a puddle. With a simple smile he could make her brain dead. It was so like him to make such an admission just because "I needed to tell you."

"He's just… so open with me." She said quietly. "So vulnerable. I might not mean to hurt him, but I know I could. Bad."

"Maybe if you were a bit more open with him it would help."

He had a point. Mike was an open book to her. But Jane only gave him access to her cliff notes. She shielded him from things about her she thought would scare him off. From the black hole that had settled inside her mind when her mom abandoned the two most important people in her life. It was the kind of thing that had the power to permanently change a person. It changed her more than most. And though Mike had no knowledge of the black holes existence he managed to shine light inside it every time she was near him.

He was extraordinary. He was her Big Bang, the thing that exploded her into full and total existence. He had completed her.

"You know what I think." Her father said when she didn't respond. "I don't think this is about you being able to hurt him. I think this is about him being able to hurt you."

"Please stop."

"Kid, the whole point of falling in love is taking the leap of faith of giving someone the tools to break your heart and hoping that they won't." He said. "There comes a time when you gotta suck it up and hand them over."

Jane stared silently at the cake, a celebration of something she wouldn't have accomplished without Mike. He made her want to be good, to be the best version of Jane Hopper that could possibly exist. She wanted to be someone that he deserved. As hard as she tried she hadn't yet become that person. Still, she tried every day.

"I'm scared." She whispered. Fear was something she never wanted to succumb to. She made sure to keep her voice down so her fear wouldn't hear her speak about it. If it didn't hear her it couldn't come for her.

"It'll always be scary." He said. "But it gets a little bit better every day."

Sleep hid from her that night. It stood in the shadows where she couldn't find it and held its breath when she got close. She tossed and turned and thought about Mike until the sun started to rise. Her morning went by in a daze and she took the time to make coffee instead of slapping on some eyeliner. The sound of Mike's car pulling up was her alarm clock and she was suddenly a bit more alert by his presence.

She kissed him when she sat in the passenger's side, watching his eyes notice her wearing a sweatshirt she had stolen from his closet last month. He didn't pull away from her house right away. Instead an expression of worry made its way across his freckled face. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You look _really_ tired."

Maybe she should have at least put on a little concealer. "I was up late doing homework." She lied. "I'm fine. Really."

Mike hesitated before facing forward again and grabbing the steering wheel. "Okay." He said, sounding unconvinced. "You wanna take a nap? I can take the long way."

"No, it's okay." She said. "I have study hall second period. I'll nap then."

Her conversation with her dad flashed through her mind for the millionth time as they drove in a comfortable silence. She wanted him to know how much she cared about him, but the thought of spelling it out made her palms feel sweaty. The drive to school was only ten minutes long. She spent every minute trying to figure out how to say what she was thinking. When Mike pulled into a parking spot on the school property she grabbed his hand before he could move to get out.

"Hey, hold on a second." She said, turning in her seat to face him. "Can we stay here for a sec?"

"Yeah, of course." Mike pulled his keys out of the ignition and stuffed them in his pockets. "What's up? Everything okay?"

She nodded, her curls falling down on her forehead. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." She said.

"Did I freak you out last night?" he asked. His previous worry crept back into both his voice and his face. She was tempted to lean across the console and kiss it away.

"No, Mike, not at all." Jane leaned her head against her seat, her eyes darting across his features. "You know, I didn't say anything last night. Not because I don't… it's just really hard for me."

"I know. It's okay."

Jane sniffled as quietly as she could. But in the closed space of his car there was no way he didn't hear it. "You know, my parents… it was like everything was fine until one day they just weren't. I look at pictures of them and I see how much she loved him. And I don't understand how you can go from loving someone to resenting them so much that you just drop everything and leave. And I don't want that to happen to us."

"It won't." Mike said. "Things are different with us."

"You sound so sure."

"I am."

She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand, goosebumps popping up on her arms when his fingers lightly squeezed hers. "They're just words." She said softly. "I don't know why I'm so scared to say them."

"They're very intimidating words." Jane smiled, a silent agreement. "You don't have to say them. You don't even have to feel that way about me. But I had to tell you. I just couldn't stop thinking it and it almost slipped out a hundred times so I had to tell you."

With the hand that wasn't holding his she played with the strings of her sweatshirt. A lump had settled in the back of her throat that she struggled to swallow. Faint voices from outside the car leaked inside. For everyone else it was a normal Thursday morning. It was weird to think about how 98% of the population of the earth hadn't been impacted by Mike Wheeler. Especially since 100% of her life had been changed by him.

"You're everything to me, Mike." She eventually said. "You're just so important. And I want to say it so bad because I want you to know how crazy special you are to me. But I'm just so scared. And it's not because I don't feel that way, it's just because I'm crazy."

"Jane stop."

"You know what I mean."

Mike sighed. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But I hate when you say stuff like that because it's not true."

"Agree to disagree."

He pulled her hand towards him, putting his hand on the back of her neck once he was close enough. "Please, stop." He said, his tone pleading. "It hurts to hear you say stuff like that."

Jane yanked her hand away and point at him. "See, right there." She said. "I said I didn't want to hurt you and I just did. I didn't mean to, but I did it." She felt her throat start to burn, some of her fears were being confirmed right before her very eyes.

Mike must have been able to see her spiraling thoughts and quickly grabbed both her hands. "Hey, hey, don't do that." He said gently. "That's not what I meant. I shouldn't have said that."

"You did mean it." She said, sniffling once again.

She watched him lean his head back for a moment while he thought, only picking it back up a minute or so later. "Okay, look, you're right. You can hurt me, and stuff like that really does hurt. But I don't care."

"How?"

"Because I know that you don't mean it to hurt me. And even if you said something that you meant to hurt me, I still love you." He laced his fingers through hers. "So I need you to do me a favor and stop worrying about hurting me, because I can handle it."

Jane blinked back tears that were trying to escape before leaning across the console once again and pressing her lips against his. She knew she loved him. Dangerously so. Even thinking it made her scared. But it made her feel better that she didn't have to say it for him to know that she did. And even more so that she knew that eventually she would be able to say it.

He started rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand which started to calm her down. "You okay?" he asked once a few minutes ahd passed and her breathing had begun to slow.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay." Jane said quietly, already embarrassed about her small freak out. She once again leaned across the console and wrapped her arms around his neck. Jane simply had no idea what she would do without him. He was able to calm her down and bring her back down to reality like no one else could. Mike was an anchor holding her still in a sea of anxiety and stress.

He held her by the waist, his cheek pressed against hers. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend that they weren't minutes away from being separated in school for six hours. That maybe they were parked by the beach or a park and had all the time in the world. He was only half successful. "I love you, Jane." He said quietly, his lips right next to her ear.

The words were on the tip of her tongue, too timid to jump out and into the air. They climbed down her throat but stayed close by for later. Eventually they would be ready. "I know." She said instead. It didn't feel like enough but she just wasn't ready.

"I know you know." He said, pulling away just enough to kiss her.

They sat in the car holding hands until they heard the first bell ring. Mike walked to her homeroom with her before taking off down the hall even though they both knew he would be late. As she took her usual seat in the classroom her dads words once again played in her head. _You're not me, kid. You guys make it look easy. It'll always be scary, but it gets a little bit better every day._ Sitting in the kitchen she hadn't believed a word she said. But a day had passed and she already felt a little bit closer to being open with him. She just hoped he would be patient with her.


End file.
